


The Dog Ate It

by my_mad_fatuation



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Inspired by Real Events, Love Letters, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 22:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12492324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mad_fatuation/pseuds/my_mad_fatuation
Summary: Rae writes a love letter to her best mate, Finn, but he gives her the oldest excuse in the book.





	The Dog Ate It

_Dear Finn,_

_I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that we’ve become friends over the past year. I know we didn’t hit it off right away, but you’re now one of my best mates._

_The thing is, I like you. I really like you. I like you in more than a friendly way. And I don’t want to make you uncomfortable around me, or anything, but I thought it was only fair that you know the truth about me, since we share absolutely everything. I hope this doesn’t make things weird between us. I still want to be best mates with you, and best mates are honest with each other._

_I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you in person, but I was too scared. I just want us to be alright. Call me when you’ve read this._

_Yours always,_

_Rae_

***

“Cheers,” Finn said when Rae handed him her _Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_ series of books.

“Just give ‘em back whenever you’re finished,” she said, like it was no big deal, as she sat next to him on her bed. “No rush.”

He smiled as he held up the stack of books. “Will do.”

“Oh, and I, er, put the first one on top, so you should start with that one,” she added, tapping the top book of the pile. She hoped he couldn’t tell how nervous she was, though.

The fact of the matter was that she had stuck her letter in between the pages of the first book, hoping that he would find it and read it once he was at home, alone, so she wouldn’t have to deal with his reaction right away.

“Thanks, Rae,” he said. “You know, I never usually do this much reading in the summer, but I suppose that I’ve got to keep my mind sharp now that I’m done school for a year, eh?”

“I’m so glad you decided to take a gap year before uni,” she said. “It would be so boring around here without you.”

“Well, I can’t very well go off to uni without you either, now can I?” he teased, bumping her shoulder with his.

She looked down at her hands, smiling as she thought about what it would be like going off to uni with him.

“Look, I’d better go,” he said as he stood up after a minute. “I’ve got to put the tea on, so…”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow with the gang, then?”

“Definitely.”

***

Rae had trouble sleeping that night, worrying about what Finn thought about her letter. He must have read it by now, she figured, so why hadn’t he called to talk about it? She started imagining worst-case scenarios, tossing and turning all night, and dreaded facing him the next day.

But she did.

He was already at the chippy when she arrived, though the rest of the gang hadn’t shown up yet. He looked happy to see her, which she took as a good sign.

“Hiya,” he said as she came and sat down next to him in her usual spot. “Y’alright?”

“Yeah, you?” she replied, figuring she would wait for him to bring up the letter first.

“Yeah, fine, just I didn’t sleep very well last night,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

She started to worry that her letter had upset him more than he was letting on, but she didn’t want to pry. “Me, too,” she said.

“Oh? What was keeping you up?”

“Er, just a restless night, I suppose,” she said.

He nodded reassuringly. “Yeah, well, my cousin’s stopping at ours this week, right, and his dog was barking all through the night. Did my head in.”

“I’m sorry to hear that…” She kept periodically glancing at him with her peripheral vision, waiting for him to mention something. “Did you, er, did you like the book I lent you?” she asked after what felt like hours.

“Haven’t started it yet, sorry,” he said. “I was busy getting my cousin settled in, I didn’t have time for reading last night.”

“Oh. That’s okay,” she said. “Just, er, tell me when you do start reading it. Let me know what you think.”

“Will do.”

***

Rae sat in her room all evening, staring at the phone and waiting for it to ring with news from Finn. At this point, she didn’t care if it was good news or bad news, she just needed to know what he was thinking. She couldn’t stand not knowing any longer.

But he didn’t call, and she had another sleepless night.

She was painfully tired the next day, but she knew she had to go to Finn’s football match and cheer him on. If nothing else, she had to show him that things didn’t have to change between them just because of her letter. Of course, ideally _some_ things would change, but she was still fine with things the way they were. It was the secret that was eating her up inside, not their friendship.

“Woo! Go Finn!” she called out from the sidelines.

He glanced over at her for a second and smiled. So he obviously didn’t hate her after what she’d written. That was a good sign.

“Good game today,” she said to him once he’d come off the field.

“We lost, Rae,” he said as he sat down next to her, still breathing heavily from all the running around he’d been doing.

“Yeah, but you gave it your best effort.”

He looked and her and laughed. “Great, thanks.”

“So, er, have you started those books yet?” she asked, clenching her hands together in front of her.

He didn’t respond right away, so she looked over at him and noticed his expression grew serious. This was bad.

“Rae, I’ve got to—I’ve got to tell you something,” he said.

Oh, god, this was it! The Big Rejection.

“I’m gonna have to buy you a new copy of that book,” he added.

“What?”

“See, my cousin’s dog sort of… ate it.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I left it on the kitchen table and the whole book was torn to shreds. It was completely destroyed. I’m really sorry, but I promise I’ll replace it.”

“Okay…” she said slowly. “Did you, er, happen to notice a letter inside the book?”

“There was a letter inside the book?”

“Just a little note I left for you…”

“Oh, sorry. It probably got eaten, too.”

“Oh, okay. It wasn’t important,” she said.

Well, this was one way for him to just avoid talking about it with her, she figured. They were just going to both pretend the letter never even existed. Fine.

***

Months passed and Rae didn’t dare bring up the subject of the letter again. Not after what was possibly the most embarrassing response possible from him: total denial.

Things stayed the same, at least, so she was just grateful for that, that she hadn’t ruined everything.

“D’you want to come over for New Year’s?” he’d asked her around Christmas.

“You having a party?” she asked in response.

“Nah, I just thought you and I could hang out,” he said. “Have a few drinks, listen to some crap reggae, and count down the New Year.”

“Just me and you?”

“I don’t really feel like doing a big thing this year, y’know?”

“Er, yeah, alright,” she said. “Sounds good.”

And so, Rae found herself in Finn’s room on New Year’s Eve, drinking vodka and listening to records.

“One minute!” he said when it was nearly midnight, looking at his watch.

She leaned over to look at his watch as well, as if she didn’t believe him. “I can’t believe 1997 is almost over,” she said.

“I think 1998 is going to be the best year yet, though,” he said.

“How do you figure?”

“Just hoping, I s’pose.” He smiled and poured them each another glass. “Twenty seconds.”

Rae felt nervous as the New Year approached; she didn’t really know what to expect from it. She was scared but also hopeful. A fresh start. A new—

“Ten,” said Finn, still staring at his watch. “Nine… Eight… Seven… Six… Five… Four… Three… Two…”

They held up their glasses and clinked them together on the, “One,” and downed their respective drinks.

“Happy New Year, girl,” he said right before he leaned over and kissed her.

It was just a quick peck on the lips, but it made her giggle drunkenly when he pulled away. “Your mouth is cold and wet from the vodka,” she said with a laugh.

He smiled and wiped his mouth off with his sleeve and went in for another kiss, though this one was longer. It was kind of astounding.

She stared at him in bewilderment as he slowly lifted his face away from hers.

“Er, sorry, I shouldn’t have—” he began, looking away shyly. “I shouldn’t drink so much when I’m alone with you. It makes me lose control of my impulses, y’know?”

“Why’d you have the impulse to kiss me?” she asked, still a bit stunned.

“The, er, the first one, that was for New Year’s,” he said while rolling his glass between his hands. “But that second, that was just because, well, I like you, Rae.”

“You what?” She wondered if maybe she was so drunk she was imagining things.

“I mean, I really like you,” he said. “Not just as a friend, but as—well, more than that. I have for a while now, actually, like over a year.”

“Oh.”

“Is it… I mean, are you… Is that okay?” He still wasn’t looking at her.

“Finn,” she said as seriously as she could, given her tipsy state. She took the glass out of his hand and set it on the floor with her own.

He finally returned his attention to her, his eyebrows pushed together in a sad puppy face.

“I really like you, too, you know.”

***

Rae woke up in Finn’s bed the next morning, wrapped in one of his duvets. He was next to her, wrapped in a separate duvet. She looked over at him and smiled, watching him sleep for several minutes.

“Quit staring at me, it freaks me out,” he muttered without opening his eyes.

But she didn’t stop. “Finn,” she said, poking him in the arm. “Can I just ask you something?”

“Mmrph,” he replied, which she took for a yes.

“Why did you lie to me about that letter?” she asked.

He still didn’t open his eyes. “What letter?”

“The letter I wrote you in the summer. The one I stuck in that book you borrowed.”

“What?” he said, finally opening his eyes. “Didn’t my cousin’s dog eat that book?”

“Come on, Finn. That’s the lamest fake excuse ever.”

“Why would I make that up?”

“Because you didn’t want to talk about the letter!” She spoke so loudly that it hurt her head. “But what I don’t understand is why you would do that if you felt the same way about me,” she added, quieter.

“Rae,” he said as he sat up and leaned back against the headboard. “I did not read any letter. I’m not lying when I say the dog ate it.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“So, is it true, then?” she asked, sitting up as well.

“Is what true?”

“What you said last night.”

He lowered his head, though he had a coy smile on his face. “It’s true,” he said.

“Well, in that case,” she said, holding onto his hand and interlacing their fingers, “what do you want to do today?”

“Anything you want, girl,” he replied. “Today is just the beginning.”


End file.
